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Friday, January 29, 2010

Monsanto GMO Maize a Winner

Jerry Steiner, Executive Vice President of Sustainability and Corporate Affairs, opened the American Farm Bureau Federation's annual meeting by stating, "We see the need for an 80 percent increase in food production that the world is going to need to feed about nine billion people in 2050, versus the six and a half or so billion people we have today. Soybean and corn production will have to at least double to meet the imminent drastic increase in demand for Big Macs and Whoppers.  That's premised on the fact that people around the world are increasing their incomes, and one of the first things people do when they increase their income is improve the quality of their diet. That’s what we’ve been seeing out of Asia over the last several years.

"To increase the world population from six and a half to nine billion in the space of just forty years, people are going to need a lot of energy. The Asians, heretofore quite prolific when unrestrained, are going to have to do their part, so they'd better change their diet. Right now they are eating a lot of things like rice, fish balls, and scorpions. Inscrutable people, but they appear to be capable of learning. Before looking into this matter, I didn't even know that fish had balls, but I know that they can't be either as tasty or nutritious as a good old Big Mac. Our new genetically modified maize is as prolific as a Chinaman, and cows love it.  Meat production around the world will take off, and soon everyone will eat like an American. I can't help thinking that the primitive people of the world are lucky we discovered them before they starved.

“What we’re aiming to achieve is very much a designer approach with breeding that we can then complement with specific genes from biotechnology. We look at breeding as largely creating potential inside a seed. That potential then goes into the plant, then into the animal that eats it, and finally into you, a chain of increasing potentiality, a beautiful thing.  Some Swedes and Greenpeace hippies have complained that eating some of our genetically modified maize 'could result in damage to the liver and kidneys.' The 'unusual concentrations of hormones and other compounds' they found in the blood and urine of the rats they tested really was no more than you would find in your average professional football player.  And look how those guys run around and knock each other over and then get up and dance and run around again.  Big, dancing Energizer Bunnies. So, see, there really is nothing to worry about unless you don't want your kids to grow up as big, strong and healthy as football players and as ready to reproduce as bunnies.”

Mr. Steiner then presented Ralph the Rat, one of Monsanto's own test rats, to show how healthy he was after eating Monsanto's designer maize for the first six months of his life.  He had quite an impressive physique and looked as healthy as an offensive tackle.



There is no reason I can find to fall for the leftist propaganda unfairly impugning Monsanto's fine new product, a product that promises to assist in adding two and a half billion Big Mac munching people to our planet in the next forty years.  Let us be fruitful and multiply with Monsanto's help. Therefore, I must give this product a "thumbs up."  Bon appetit.

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